i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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