Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
