I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
