last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My Sexting was not on an AP level
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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