You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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