You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
