i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
