it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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