Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
