I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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