dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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