dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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