Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.

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(847): View more from Illinois

So I'm banging this nun...

(314): View more from Missouri

Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...

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(317): View more from Indiana

I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.

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(660): View more from Missouri

Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...

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(989): View more from Michigan

I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

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(425): View more from Washington

I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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(904): View more from Florida

I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.

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(310): View more from California

I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.

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