Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
