We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
