I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize