The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
