she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
