You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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