office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
