life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
