my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
