what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
