You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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