I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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