whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
