all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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