the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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