you would pick up someone in the library
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
