I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
