Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
