sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize