I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
