This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
