We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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