i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
