You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
