I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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