he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
