Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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