Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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