New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
