Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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