do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize