my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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