is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
