He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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