i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
