Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
