last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
