how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
