well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
