If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
