Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
