He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
