is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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