Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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