Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
