I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
