It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
