i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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