i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
