If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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