He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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