So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
