i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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