At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
