Where are you?
In a non slutty way
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
