Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
