so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
