Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
