shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
