I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
