Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you never un-have a 4some
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
