Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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