i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
